Some of the jokes I liked...
Bull Market:
Is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market:
Is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.
Funny Quote:
When asked what the stock market will do, J.P Morgan (1837-1913) (banker, financier, businessman) replied:"It will fluctuate."
Funny Story:
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that’s parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:
“We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we’re a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
“Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?”
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